1. |
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I stayed in bed all weekend
I’ve died a million deaths in my head
And I just can’t help but dream
Of a life better than this
Of a life better than the one I live
Oh, it must get better than this
And I know my family sees me
As a failure in the streets
Oh so lonely in my sheets
But I want to prove them wrong
Yeah, I want to get strong enough
To push my life where it belongs
But my brain is screaming at me
‘Cause my bank account is empty
All the mindless spending
It is catching up with me
But I can’t seem to break free
I wish I came with a receipt
And yeah, I stayed in bed all weekend
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2. |
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You don’t have to tell me
I already know
Oh, I’ve really let myself go
Pardon the connection
Sorry to interrupt
Oh… maybe I should just hang up
And there’s no use blaming you forever
You did what you had to do and you got lost
And there’s no escaping myself forever
I do what I want to do and soon I’ll get caught
C-c-caught up in the rush
Trust me I know
I don’t know how to take things slow
“I’m always such a mess”
“I get so tangled up”
Oh my god, who gives a fuck?
Guess there’s no use beating myself up forever
It’s not like I ever meant to get so lost
But if I really want to get better
I would find myself at any cost
You didn’t have to tell me
I didn’t have to know
You didn’t have to tell me
I didn’t want to know
I wish I could just let you go
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3. |
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Day in
Night out
Fumbling to talk about life
And shoot the shit
I’m missing some pieces
I can’t make my brain work
Its folds are unraveling
And spilling out my mouth
I know it’s unflattering
Great, it’s just what I needed
Spilled my guts, now everyone’s leaving
I’ve had too much to think this evening
Who gives a fuck how I am dealing?
I can’t shake this feeling
That’s shaped my believing
That as long as I’m breathing
My mind will deceive me into
Doing nothing
All day
And just rotting
In bed
Or the corners
I insist on hiding
(so get off the floor and be someone, get out of bed and DO something)
Great, it’s just what I needed
Lost my shit, now everyone’s leaving
I’ve had too much to think this evening
Who gives a fuck about a deeper meaning?
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4. |
Lopsided Love (Demo)
03:46
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I don’t know what to say
I love you to death
But I think it might be best
That we went separate ways
I look around
I know that something has changed
But you say it’s all the same
I guess it depends on where you’re standing
Perspective changes things
You're not a monster
Just a stranger with a familiar face
I get so tangled up in lopsided love
And I’m the one who always pays
Tangled up in lopsided love
And all it’s ever brought me is pain, so I’m out
I’ve got so much to say
But I’ll hold my breath
Until my skin turns grey
And my eyes go blank
Let it rot in my head
And I feel ashamed
But it’s so damn hard to change
I guess it depends on what you’re changing
Depression changes things
I can be a monster
With a strange and unfamiliar face
I get so tangled up in lopsided love
‘Cause I’m the one who always stays
Tangled up in lopsided up
Believed that I deserve the pain
I get so tangled up in lopsided love
‘Cause I’m the one who always stays
Tangled up in lopsided love
And all it’s ever brought me is pain
Tangled up in lopsided love
And I’m the one who always pays
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5. |
Even Ghosts (Demo)
05:29
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“Don’t talk!
Don’t talk, or I’ll be exposed!”
“Don’t talk!
Oh, honey, don’t talk!”
I’m always such a mess…
How can you be so unburdened
By all of the lies you’ve been taught?
“Honey,” she said,
“Even ghosts themselves are haunted
By the very things they haunt.
So come back to bed
Won’t you let me ease your troubled mind
Whatever way you want?”
Well, I don’t want to know what haunts me
And I don’t understand how you could want me
But here we lie, naked and cold
To shed all that weight like clothes
And keep ourselves afloat
Tinted these moments in rose
To filter out the red that is shown
In all the flags you post
Now burn them all
Burn them all
Before they’re exposed
I’m always such a mess…
How can you be so unburdened
By all of the lies you’ve been taught?
“Honey,” she said,
“Even ghosts themselves are haunted
By the very things they haunt.
So come back to bed
Won’t you let me ease your troubled mind
Whatever way you want?”
Here we lie, naked and cold
To shed all that weight like our clothes
And keep ourselves afloat
“Don’t talk!
Don’t talk, or I’ll be exposed!”
“Don’t talk!
Oh, honey, don’t talk!”
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problem addict Charlotte, North Carolina
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